“Sometimes you get tired of riding in taxicabs the same way you get tired of riding in elevators. All of a sudden, you have to walk, no matter how far or high up. When I was a kid, I used to to walk all the way up to our apartment very frequently. Twelve stories.”

 

The idea of being tired of riding in a taxicab is quite ironic. Most people ride taxis because I don’t want to walk because they’re too tired. In Holden’s case, he prefers doing the latter and walk instead of taking a taxicab which is more convenient and less tiring. But I understand him. Taking a taxi is quite uncomfortable because you’re in a small space enclosed by four doors with a stranger. It’s usually silent, leaving you with the loud thoughts that could be running around in your mind. Being alone with your thoughts is frightening and it forces you to face them and think about it.

On the other hand, walking induces action- walking. Walking helps distract you with your thoughts. When you’re walking, you’re surrounded by sounds and it helps blur out the annoying and pestering thoughts in your mind. You’re distracted by the busy-ness of your surrounding from the busyness in your mind. Holden says that he used to walk up twelve stories to his apartment. This could indicate that his mind was probably filled with undesirable thing and he didn’t want to take care of it.

I honestly feel the same way too. I’m not a confrontational person. I enjoy putting things off until it really affects me. Especially before finals, I’m the most stressed and I start walking my dog more frequently, and for longer walks. I mean I love my dog and all, but it’s usually my dad’s job to walk my dog and I’m at home lounging around or sleeping. When I’m home alone, I usually blast some music, loud enough to be heard around the house, but (hopefully) not too loud for the neighbors to hear what I’m listening to.

I realize now that I don’t enjoy silences, whether it’s comfortable or not, I don’t like it. Growing up the only child, I crave for noise sometimes. I grew up with cousins around my age. But as we grow older, we don’t visit the family house where our grandma lives and takes care of us. We all have school to worry about and exams to study for. We were all very rowdy and it was nice at times. As I grow older, I crave for noise and so to fill the emptiness, I put on music. It honestly could be anything- from podcasts to the news channel to just plain white noise. As long as it help fill the empty void- it was okay. Everything felt like it was gonna be okay.

Advertisements